Mr. Jeff WaltersPresident and Chief Operating Officer

Subaru of America

Dear Mr. President,

Every new car I have purchased in the last fifteen years has been a Subaru.  Certainly, this is a testimony to the fine vehicles you are manufacturing.  However, this is a “two way street”.  My exclusive patronage is having a material impact on the bottom line of Subaru of America.

So I have a simple request.  I hope that you can design and build a vehicle that is perfectly directed to my transportation needs.  I would like a four door convertible that is tailored to the requirements of the World’s Greatest Tailgaters. 

The design specs are fairly simple.  Five passengers should fit comfortably into this roadster.  You need to design a new color option for the exterior and possibly the interior.  The outside should be maize.  Being a veteran of the University of Michigan Marching Band, you certainly know the difference between maize and yellow.  The convertible top should be navy blue and the interior leather should also be navy blue.  Finally, the convertible should be equipped with a class A trailer hitch and a heavy duty towing package. A nice option would be playing the victors when you honk the horn.

That’s it. Simple.

On the 300 sunny days in Florida and 7 sunny days that occur each year in Michigan, I can cruise around in style with the top down.  On a football Saturday, I will hook up my navy blue trailer with the block M painted on the side and head off to the tailgate.  My ten foot enclosed trailer holds most of the tailgating paraphernalia known to man.  Perfect.

I gave consideration to requesting a one ton, four door, eight foot bed, diesel, maize pickup with a matching topper. This addresses my tailgating requirements, however, this does not satisfy my needs for a convertible.  In addition, it may require more engineering and production enhancements than Subaru would like to undertake. 

So the ideal compromise seems to be the maize convertible with a heavy duty towing package.  I am sending this request in early May so that you have sufficient time to build the vehicle before the first home game on September 5th.  This is a clear win/win for Subaru and Mike Sinelli.  Not only will Subaru lock in future profits from a substantial customer, they may have a unique offer to the millions of Americans that actively tailgate each year at the collegiate and professional level.  Of course, the “Tailgater” should never be available in scarlet and gray colors.  On the flip side, I finally get a vehicle that addresses all aspects of my lifestyle. 

By the way, I have a second ten foot trailer for all of my barbecuing equipment.  By simply switching trailers, I can be off to Kansas City to compete in the American Royal. A great bonus.

Mr. Walters, I am certain that you can see the clear value of the tailgating convertible and I am certain that you don’t want to disappoint such a staunch supporter of your company.  I will be pleased to pick up my car at your factory in Indiana.  The first week of August works for me. 

Sincerely,

Michael Jay Sinelli

Chief Eatery Officer of the World’s Greatest Tailgate

Authors Note: I actually sent this letter to Mr. Walters, the President and COO of Subaru of America. I thought there was a good chance that Subaru would acquiesce to my request because Jeff has been a staunch member of the the World’s Greatest Tailgaters for nearly 40 years.

Jeff responded expeditiously. Unfortunately, he did not foresee a broad market for the “Tailgater” and did not offer a lot of optimism about moving such a vehicle into production. In addition, he thought it was a little expensive to make one just for me. Much like the Macy’s Santa in “Miracle on 34th Street” he did send a picture of a similar vehicle offered by a competitive car maker.

I replied that I am only a Subaru guy so I will have to wait until the demand for the “Tailgater” overwhelms the car industry.