When I was in grade school I got to be pretty good with the states in the United States and their capitals. This was not a particular focus of fourth and fifth grade geography. My fourth and fifth grade teacher, Mr. Huesman, would assign writing the states and their capitals as a punishment for running amok in class. “Okay Sinelli, Mad magazine is not on the St. Thomas fifth grade reading list. I will take that magazine and you can hand write the states and capitals ten times this evening and bring them to me tomorrow.” Suffice to say, I wrote the states and capitals hundreds of times over that two year period.
I became very familiar with both the cities and states. I would alphabetize the states and follow the state with it’s capital. Or, I would alphabetize the capitals and follow it with the state. I could write them geographically starting in the northeast with Maine, the southeast with Florida, the southwest with Hawaii or the northwest with Alaska. No references needed. I was very familiar with these one hundred elements of geography.
I knew the answer to several clever trivia questions. “Which states are the farthest north, south, east and west?” Hawaii is the farthest south and Alaska is the farthest north, the farthest west and the farthest east. It crosses the International Date Line. I know that there are six state capitals west of Los Angeles and I know that Salem is the capital of Oregon, Olympia is the capital of Washington, Augusta is the capital of Maine and Frankfort is the capital of Kentucky. A lock sure bar bet is to challenge someone to name all fifty states in five minutes. Almost no one can without sneaking a peak at their mobile phone. I do it by filling them in geographically starting with Maine.
Thank you Mr. Huesman for sparking my interest in US geography. My wife and I have travelled to all fifty states. I have hit forty three of the state capitals. The capitals I am missing are Augusta Maine, Dover Delaware, Frankfort Kentucky, Springfield Illinois, Pierre South Dakota, Salem Oregon and Juneau Alaska. I would like to complete the circuit.
My wife and I can probably bang out Frankfort and Springfield in a meandering road trip. We could hit Salem when we visit my sister in Reno. Augusta and Dover would be a third trip that might include a tour of New England and/or the Maritime Provinces in Canada. Pierre, which is smack in the middle of the country, is probably a “stand alone” excursion. We can’t casually go to Juneau. No one can. There are no roads or railways to Juneau. It is only accessible by sea or air. Perhaps a great trip would be to fly to Seattle, rent a car and drive to Salem. We could revisit Olympia, return to Seattle and take the Alaska Marine Highway Ferry System or a cruise to Juneau. So it may be possible to hit all seven in four terrific trips.
Since we are celebrating our nation’s semiquincentennial in 2026, we should try to arrange one or two of these excursions this year.
The leisurely journey through the heartland has great appeal. On our way to Frankfort, we could visit the Land of Lost Luggage in Scottsboro Alabama. An enterprising young man struck a deal with the airlines to buy undeliverable lost baggage on a per pound basis. The Unclaimed Baggage Company sorts and cleans the contents and sells it in a retail store the size of a Walmart. Many years ago, I bought a back up set of golf clubs from the store in Scottsboro. Next, we could explore the Tow Truck museum in Chattanooga TN. Maybe we could dine at the original Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant in North Corbin Kentucky. Between Frankfort and Springfield, we could stop at the Moonlight Barbecue in Owensboro Kentucky. My 1996 T-shirt from our last visit is in sad shape. Bill Clinton recognizes the Moonlight as simply the best BBQ joint in the world. We could assess whether Moonburger’s in Moonlight Illinois, Ned’s Shed in Vienna Illinois or Sneaky’s in Edwardsville Illinois has the best hamburger in the world. With just a slight over shot, we could enjoy the highlights of St. Louis, including the Gateway Arch and the Bowling Hall of Fame. This trip would fit very nicely on the front end of our annual trek from Jacksonville Florida to Ann Arbor Michigan for the Wolverine football season.
Okay. Two down and five to go.
Another two banger would be the Salem and Juneau trek. On our way from Seattle to Salem we could drive the spectacular Oregon coast and search for the best clam chowder in the northwestern United States. We could visit a great friend and classmate in Olympia and, if we are lucky, take in an “Oly Rollers” women’s roller derby contest. Our friend is the team manager. With some solid planning, on the journey from Seattle to Juneau, we can make a few stops to catch some salmon and halibut. With any luck, we could put a hundred pounds of fish in the freezer. Simply sightseeing on the Inside Passage tour will be spectacular.
Four down and three to go.
A third trip would rack up Dover Deleware and Augusta Maine. We could fly to Philadelphia or Dover and rent a car. Stops along the way from Dover to Augusta could include the historic sites in Philly and dinner with snapping turtle soup at Bookbinders. Perhaps we could cruise by Cooperstown and the Baseball Hall of Fame. A slight detour might include a day or two in the Italian North End of Boston. We could start a 2:00 AM shopping venture at LLBean in Freeport. A trip up Mount Washington and a day or two in Acadia National park would work as well.
That simply leaves Pierre South Dakota.
We fly to Rapid City, rent a car, and hit the great sites in the middle of the United States. We could visit Wall Drugs, the dive bar and outdoor jail in Scenic South Dakota, the Badlands and Mount Rushmore. We could stand in the geographic center of the original forty eight states in Lebanon Kansas and the geographic center of the entire fifty states in Belle Fourche South Dakota. We could extend the trip past Pierre to revisit Devil’s Tower in Wyoming. On our original visit we could not see the top of the edifice because it was fogged in. Another spectacular journey!
During my tenure at St. Thomas Grade School in Ann Arbor, I fantasized visiting all of these states and all of their capital cities. I even used the old hardcover encyclopedia to research some of these locations. It takes a while to write ten copies of the states and capitals so I had a lot of time to think about touring them. After a few decades we are down to seven unvisited capitals. My wife and I have found these trips to be very leisurely and very enjoyable. Great scenery, great food and great people. Let me know if you want to join us. We can leave the Subaru in the garage and rent a fifteen passenger van. If we have a bigger crowd, I am qualified to drive an oversized RV or a full size bus. My CDL has expired but I paid for my college education driving an eighteen wheeler with a forty foot trailer.
After a few short decades I am about to complete my quest to visit every state and every capital.
Should be fun.