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We have been making sausage for personal consumption for more than thirty years.  Breakfast sausage, Italian sausage, Bratwurst, and Kielbasa.  It is a carryover from my competitive barbecue days.  Sausage is one of the five major categories in a barbecue competition.  After experimenting with different commercial products, most barbecuists believe they can create something better.  Over time we tweaked the spice recipes to develop the perfect flavors for us.

We did improve our Sausage scores in the barbecue contests.  More importantly, we made the terrific sausage that we love to eat.

Why is our sausage better?  We grind a great cut of pork for the base.  All of our sausage is made from quality ground pork shoulder. No scraps or spare parts.  No additives or preservatives.  When you order pulled pork, you are feasting on smoked pork shoulder.  All we add are spices.

Following a key barbecuing philosophy (never accomplish with mere words something that can be achieved equally well with a flame thrower),  I purchased a small commercial meat grinder capable of grinding 600 pounds of pork in an hour.

So for many years, every two months or so, I would grind up some pork shoulders, make a variety of sausages, vacuum seal them and put them in the freezer.  Friends would join us for a spaghetti dinner with a fine Italian sausage sauce or we might serve smoked kielbasa and bratwurst as an appetizer for a barbecuing feast.     

Over time, I would get requests for sausage from my friends.  “The next time you fire up the behemoth grinder, could you make a couple extra pounds of breakfast sausage for me?”  “Absolutely” I would respond. 

After a half year I was getting requests from more friends and the demands were less polite.  “Hey! I need six pounds of Italian in three pound lots and six pounds of breakfast in ¾ pound lots.  Can you get them to me by Saturday?  I’m having a brunch for twenty friends.”  Now my response was “Bad news!  I’m not making sausage for anyone anymore.  We are going to make sausage.  If you want any, be at my house at 7:00 PM next Thursday and we will make all the sausage you care to eat.  If you can’t be there, you don’t get any sausage.”        

Surprisingly, three friends showed up on Thursday for the first sausage production session.  We ground, seasoned and vacuum sealed forty five pounds of sausage.  Everyone helped with all aspects of the process, including cleaning and sanitizing all of the equipment and pressure washing the kitchen.  It was a great social gathering and we were all rewarded with a cooler full of made to order sausage.  Start to finish it was less than a three hour effort. We rekindled a couple hundred thousand years of hunter-gathering instincts and it felt great. We planned to hold another session when the larder dwindled in six to eight weeks.

About five weeks later, as supplies ran low, everyone was ready for another production run.  The team found that it really was not difficult to make sausage.  It’s always fun to get together with your buds.  But the real bottom line was we all enjoyed eating really great stuff. 

After a few months, we were getting a little blowback from health conscious spouses.  “Sausage is one of the worst forms of protein you can consume!  You are killing yourselves with all of this fat laden, ground pork!” 

We mounted a defense that would make the National Institute of Health proud.  One of the team members is a cardiologist, another is a world class tax attorney who has argued 100 million dollar cases in the highest courts.  We noted that this was not ordinary, commercial sausage.  We were not grinding up leftovers from slaughtered pigs.  There were no udders, snouts, or pork bellies in our sausage.  It was all pure pork shoulder.  Pork shoulders have a fat content of 25% which is far less than the average 35% of commercial sausage.  Because we had perfected the quick freezing process, we were able to ensure a very fresh product without any preservatives.  Absolutely no additives.  The cardiologist said that moderate consumption of this form of protein was actually helpful to all of our muscle masses, including the heart.  The third team member was an ex-navy fighter pilot and a 747 jockey.  He pointed out that his blood tests had improved significantly after he replaced his frequent consumption of commercial Polish sausage with the fine cuisine we were creating.  Finally, I pointed out that, after years of consuming all of the home made sausage I desired, my total cholesterol level, with no medication, was 131. Of course, the talented lawyer baked all of this information into a brief that would have stunned F Lee Bailey.    

Needless to say, the spouses were non plussed.  “The sausages are going to kill you all.” 

The four of us averaged more than forty five years of marriage.  We know what hills we should die on.  This one was worth the fight. 

So we have continued to make sausage every six or eight weeks.  The group has expanded to seven or eight master chefs.  It is not uncommon to produce 60 or 90 pounds of output in a single session.  All of our friends and family, including most of the health conscious spouses, enjoy eating the sausage in spaghetti sauces, pasta Faggioli, greens and beans, and a spectrum of smoked barbecue formats.  Breakfast sausage is a staple.

Early on, I warned the team that this was not an activity that should be performed in a white dinner jacket.  “Wear a shirt that you may have to toss after each session.”  After some thought, I provided Tee Shirts that captured the spirit of our endeavor.  We all have black shirts that say “Death Bomb Sausage Company” on the front and “Eat what you want.  Die happy.” On the back.

So thirty years after we decided that we could make better sausage than we could buy in the meat market, the Death Bomb Sausage Company is alive and well.  So are all of the brave team members who grind them out every six weeks.        

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Initial Public Offering

Based on the popularity of the Death Bomb Sausages, I am researching the possibility of taking the company public.  I see the entire production team becoming equal owners after the IPO.  Although it has been a while, I have some experience with the public offering process.  I led the effort for three or four clients during my CPA days with Coopers and Lybrand and I reviewed potential acquisitions for Fiserv.

So I know that the venture capitalists will want detailed financial information that clearly shows a robust profit potential for the enterprise.  The first part of the effort is identifying the cost of producing a high quality product.  Based on the cost, we will establish a price that will generate an attractive return for the company.  The resulting corporate profits will then increase the share value, ultimately, rewarding all of the stockholders.  I’d like to think that Death Bomb is on the same path of the original McDonalds.  The book keeper who accepted stock in lieu of $2,000 of back pay is now a multi billionaire.

What does it cost to produce a pound of world class sausage?

We have fixed costs related to the plant and equipment we need to make sausage.  Equipment includes the world class sausage grinder, vacuum sealing machine, scales, cutting boards, knives, and stainless steel pans for different processing stations.  To date we have made more than 1,000 pounds of sausage with little “wear and tear” on the equipment.  I will, conservatively, assume that we will need to replace our equipment after making every 5,000 pounds of sausage.  With these assumptions, what is the real fixed equipment cost needed to prepare a pound of sausage?

Equipment Cost:

            Sausage Grinder                     $ 450

            Vacuum Sealer                          150

            Scales                                         100

            Cutting Boards                              75

            Stainless Steel Pans               150

            Miscellaneous                               50

            Total Fixed Asset Cost        $ 875

If the total outlay for Fixed Assets to produce 5.000 pounds of sausage is $875, the cost per pound is $.18. 

Okay, we nailed that.  What are the variable costs?  Variable cost includes the cost of pork, the cost of spices and the cost of packaging for the final product.  They are variable because we don’t incur any of these expenses until we actually produce some sausage and they are directly related to each pound we produce.

Variable Cost Per Pound of Sausage:

            Pork Shoulders                                    $  2.50

            Spices                                                         .12

            Packaging for the Final Product        .05

            Total Variable Cost                           $  2.67

We have Fixed Cost per pound of $.18 and Variable Cost per pound of $2.67.  Other than labor, the total cost for Death Bomb to produce a pound of the best sausage in the world is $2.85.

What are the labor costs?  Actually, Larry Durbin has provided most of the insights regarding labor costs.  He noted that John Ball, Steve Nauman, Larry Durbin and Mike Sinelli required three hours of effort to produce 33 pounds of sausage at the last production session. They are all accustomed to a significant level of compensation.  We have an expert tax attorney, a heavily experienced 747 airline pilot, a cardiologist, and a CPA/Systems Engineer.  Without disclosing individual compensation structures, at the time of their respective retirements, the average hourly compensation for this group was $268.15 per hour.  So at the last session we required 12 man hours to produce 33 pounds of sausage.  Total labor cost was $3,217.80 (12 x $268.15).  Cost per pound is $97.51 ($3,217.80 divided by 33). 

Our aggregate cost of making one pound of sausage is as follows.

            Fixed Cost                   $     .18

            Variable Cost                  2.67

            Labor Cost                    97.51

            Total Cost per Pound  $100.36

If it costs a little more than $100 to make a pound of sausage, what should our selling price be?  The VC (impressive, insider designation for Venture Capitalists) would like to see 20% margins.  I believe that a 25% markup would be more appropriate.  Shortly after the public offering, I think we will need a corporate jet and our quarterly board meetings should all be in Paris.  25% will do a better job of covering the additional overhead.  So our selling price will be $125.

I like the concept.  Death Bomb sells 10 million pounds of sausage, every quarter, at $125 per pound.  We all earn $270 per hour when we decide to make sausage.  All of the initial shareholders earn at least $100 million profit on their initial shares.      

I’ll be back in touch when I have completed the business plan and had preliminary discussions with the money guys.  

Michael Jay Sinelli, EHQ

Exalted Hind Quarter

Update Number One

I knew if I circulated the preliminary business strategy to all of the Death Bomb Company participants that we would receive great suggestions and insights.

I would like to share the feedback I received from John Ball, Dennis Gray and Tom Blond, Predictably, their vision is in line with their previous occupations.  As a world class tax attorney, John has a legal and regulatory bend.  Dennis is focused on the engineering and production side.  Tom is pure sales.  He aims to maximize our payback in the shortest possible time frame.  His strategy is absolutely brilliant.

John Ball. 

With a keen eye on the numbers, John noticed that our selling price of $125 a pound is slightly higher than Jimmy Dean’s price of $6 per pound.  I replied that we were within $120 and that should not be a real problem.  John responded.

“Agree. And, they probably use underage, illegal, migrants in their processing plants. How else could they sell their product so cheap? Should we report them to the FDA and INS?”

Dennis Gray.

Hey Mike,

I loved the analysis.  I can now see why you went into accounting.  And all this time I thought it was because you liked the calculator to attach to your belt.

Upon review of your analysis, I wanted to point out that your garage refrigerator isn’t large enough to hold 10 million pounds of pork butt, or finished sausage, or combination thereof.  I tried converting pounds to kilos and got the same result.  Upon second review, I see that 10 million pounds is a quarterly number and realized that even Costco cannot supply that many pork butts all at once each quarter.

Based on Costco’s limitations, I worked this quarterly number down to a weekly basis (ya know 10,000,000 divided by 91 day (days in a quarter)  times 7 days (days in a week)).  This resulted in 769,231 pounds per week.  A much more duable number but one that is still too high for one refrigerator.

If we were to add two refrigerators to your garage, do you think Susan would mind leaving her car out every night?

Tom Blond.

“Sounds reasonable to me. Our first customers need to be Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg with the pitch that they, singlehandedly, can solve world hunger. One sale and we shut it down and fly off to Paris.”

It is easy to see why Tom was one of the most successful software sales professionals in the country.  Cut the chat.  Straight to the end game.  A clear simple strategy that achieves every objective.  The first workday of 2025 Tom and I will be setting up meetings with Jeff, Elon, and Mark.

I’d like to thank everyone for their incredible feedback.  More updates to follow.

Michael Jay Sinelli, EHQ

Exalted Hind Quarter

Update Number Two

Good news! Preliminary feedback from the Venture Capitalists is very positive. 

Everyone I talked with is well aware of the Death Bomb Brand and they are well aware of the exclusive nature of our products.  A common theme was “We have heard a lot about your sausages but we haven’t been able to wrap our mouths around anything.”  Apparently, the tee shirts have greatly enhanced visibility. The investment pros all tried to hit us up for a few pounds of Breakfast, Italian and Kielbasa.  I told them that this will be arranged after we ink a deal.          

The VC’s were very impressed with Tom Blond’s marketing strategy.  Appealing to Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg to ameliorate world hunger with Death Bomb sausages is brilliant. They anticipate at least two of the three billionaires will buy in to the “stop world hunger” slant.  

In addition, they offered a second marketing suggestion.  The investors recommend that we pursue a private deal with the US military.  Evidently, Secretary of Defense, Austin is anxious to try the Brats and the Italian.  The VC point out that the $125 per pound price is nothing for the armed forces.  These guys are accustomed to paying $5,000 for a toilet seat.  In fact, the money people said we should shoot for at least $140 per pound if we sell to the army.  If we grease the skids with 50 pounds of the next production cycle for the Secretary, he may jump at a multi year deal for all 650,000 troops under his command.   I have our accountant, Bryce Watermouse, crunching the numbers but the military deal could be twice as big as the 40 million pounds per year world hunger agreement.

Two simple sales could ring up more than $15 billion in annual revenue.

Meanwhile, Larry Durbin is in the process of looking for a well maintained Boeing 747.  In his opinion it is the best aircraft ever constructed and it should fit the needs of the sausage team very nicely.

More to follow.        

Michael Jay Sinelli, EHQ 

Exalted Hind Quarter

Long ago I saw a great cartoon by S. Harris.  Two scientists are reviewing a mathematical equation on a chalk board.  One says to the other “I think you should be more explicit here in step two”.  The entire equation appears to be complex math but step two simply says “Then a miracle occurs.”  

This spectacular cartoon really struck a chord with me.  I owned a small consulting firm and our primary business was implementing General Ledger Software for large insurance companies.  Very often, we were trying to save projects that were in a lot of trouble.  These were not three day, get off the plane with a briefcase, and say something smart engagements.  They were big, twenty man year, efforts under great duress for timing and success.  Frequently, we got the call because the implementation team was in distress and we had a track record for making these systems work.  

Very often, the project was floundering because no one could figure out how to design and implement a critical system component.  Instead of solving the problem and creating a comprehensive design that would work from beginning to end, the project team simply bypassed the issue.  They inserted a  “Then a miracle occurs” step and moved ahead to other aspects of the implementation.  Down the road, the implementation team realized that there may not be a solution to the “miracle” step or there may not be a solution that will work with everything else they had designed.         

Our consulting methodology was simple.  If we could not design a solution that addressed every aspect of the desired functionality, we could not move forward.  If we can’t design it, we can’t build it.  Building takes a lot of time, effort, and money.  We aren’t incurring any building costs without a rock solid design. 

Miracles are truly acts of a Supreme Being and we never saw very many of them in our business.  We had to know that we could make the software solve the client’s problem, with no Divine Intervention, or we did not get past “step two.”  I bought tee shirts with Mr. Harris’s cartoon for my consulting team.

Unfortunately, the “Then a miracle occurs” methodology for problem solving has become very popular and very common for Americans.  Here are a few examples.

“Then a miracle occurs” with my student loan.  

Like it or not, student loans have major financial impact on many Americans.  Many students do not treat them with the respect they deserve, however.  I have a friend who borrowed $80,000 to attend college.  He was able to avoid working while in school and even had sufficient cash to buy a fine guitar and surf board.  He was adamant that college days were not all about studies.  He needed to expand his social horizons as well.  Eventually, he stepped out into the working world with a BS in Psychology, a 2.6 GPA, fond memories, and $80,000 of debt.  Each year in school I would ask if he thought his higher education was going to provide sufficient income to pay back the loans and support his Bohemian lifestyle.  His response, “No problem.  I’m going to make a lot of money.”  “Then a miracle occurs!!” 

Now that he is five years past graduation and working as a Barista (truly a great and enjoyable job for him), he complains bitterly about the inherent inequity of student loans.  He should not be required to shoulder the odious burden of this kind of debt, especially at his income level.  All student loans should be forgiven.  Why, even bankruptcy may not resolve his student loan debt!  How unfair! 

Unfortunately, barring a direct act from the Almighty, there is no easy solution to my friend’s problem. There is absolutely nothing wrong with working at a job you really enjoy for lower wages.  However, when you’re designing your life, you better not ring up $80,000 in student loans if you are not planning on sufficient income to repay them.        

I have another acquaintance who is solving the student loan challenge very creatively.  Her job and lifestyle have made it impossible to repay her student loans.  She is 70 years old and has been a full time student for more than 50 years.  Obviously, she loves school and can attend evening classes.  Because she has always been more than a “half time student” as defined by the Federal Government, she has not triggered the requirement to begin repaying her loans.  With compound interest, the loan balances must be staggering.  I asked if she will ever start making loan payments.  She said, “I intend to die as a full time student.  I never plan on making a single payment.”  50 years as a full time student is a little extreme but it does solve the loan dilemma and is not “Then a miracle occurs.”  It is a planned solution that works for her. Ultimately, the loan burden will pass to someone else in the form of higher interest rates to cover defaults.

On a macro basis, student loans are a massive problem.  According to the Federal Reserve, total student loan debt on March 31, 2023 was $1.77 trillion second only to mortgage debt.  So if somebody short of God Almighty bails out the students, it would probably have to be the United States Government.  Not a lot of people with pockets that deep.  If congress decides tomorrow to pay off all the student loans, they have to come up with 40% of all the 2023 tax revenues for this single expenditure.         

“Then a miracle occurs” with my retirement account.

Far and away, the best example of “Then a miracle occurs” methodology in our country is retirement planning. 

In November 2023, Forbes determined that the average retirement savings for Americans aged 50 – 59 is $175,400.  This will generate a monthly retirement income of $878.  Let’s say that these Americans made enough to maximize social security contributions for most of their working lives.  That may add another $2,500 per month to the pot.  Retirees in this group may have to live on less than $40,536 of income per year.  If they maximized social security contributions they have been accustomed to six digit income for a long time.  Clearly, their standard of living is going to take a giant step backward.  

Many of my friends are in this boat.  What is amazing is that it has always been very easy to determine how much funding is required for a comfortable retirement. For example, if a 23 year old contributes $5,500 a year into her or his IRA and earns a 6% overall return, they will have $1 million in the account at age 65.  Using the 6% assumption, this would generate $5,000 per month without ever taking out any of the principle.  A much better income number than the current average of $878 per month.  Add in the $2,500 per month Social Security Benefit and annual retirement income is $90,000.

Okay, your saying “How can a 23 year old put $5,500 into a 401K?”   Easily.  At 23, I am going to find a job that pays at least $50,000 per year.  With a few months training I could learn to drive a truck and make $60,000 to $80,000.  That $5,500 contribution is going to get a lot smaller.  First, I am absolutely, going to find an employer that matches my IRA contribution.  Now I only have to put in $2,750 a year.  Second, my IRA contribution is tax deductible.  At a 20% tax rate, Uncle Sam is going to pay another $550 of the annual amount by lowering my taxable income.  For a mere $2,200 a year I have the retirement challenge covered.  That’s less than the cost of my annual pilgrimage to Las Vegas. 

Anyone can get this financial information from the internet with less than an hour of effort.  Why have so few Americans done this?  Why have so few people engineered their way into a situation that will help them cover their retirement needs?  For many years I have talked with friends who say “I know I should start funding my retirement account but I really don’t have the money right now.  The Beemer lease payment is putting the squeeze on me.  I’ll double up next year.  I can work this out.”  “Then a miracle occurs.”  Retirement funding, with small, reasonable contributions, only works if you start when you are young, contribute every year, and let compound interest build your nest egg. 

The tax laws regarding retirement funding are the best benefit that the government has ever offered to US citizens.  You make a deposit in an investment account and actually get a tax deduction for simply saving your own money.  Earnings on the principle are not taxable until you withdraw the money after retiring.  Tax wise, it does not get any better than this!!  

Nothing is easier to compute, easier to plan for, and easier to fund.  Yet, the average retirement savings for men and women aged 50 – 59 is $175,400.  Again, we need real intervention from a Supreme Being to help these folks retire comfortably.                           

“Then a miracle occurs” with legalized marijuana.

Legalizing marijuana has become a very popular social issue.  Most Americans favor legalizing the drug for both medical and recreational purposes.  Competent adults should be able to use cannabis, without criminal repercussions, just as competent adults use alcohol.  “I live in Colorado.  Marijuana is legal.  I can enjoy the drug with no consequences!”  “Then a miracle occurs.”

Although marijuana use is legal in Colorado and other states, so is drug testing by employers.  In fact, for many occupations, drug testing is required by law.  DOT says that you cannot drive a truck, bus, train, ferry, or plane if you can’t pass a drug test.  You can’t be a mechanic for public transportation equipment, you can’t be an air traffic controller.  You can’t build roads. These rules apply to government employees and any contractors who perform similar tasks.  56% of companies in the United States have drug testing programs to ensure that their employees are fully functioning when they are on the job.  Supposedly, the biggest log jam with improving Florida’s highway infrastructure, is finding construction workers who can pass the mandatory drug tests.  Legalized marijuana in Florida is not likely to make the pool of prospective workers any larger.

In the private sector, testing programs are not, simply, altruistic initiatives by responsible employers.  Most of the time they are requirements that the companies cannot avoid.  They are required by the insurance companies that underwrite liability insurance for these employers.  Amalgamated Property and Casualty is not going to sell a policy to Acme Bridge Construction, Inc. in Denver if they discontinue testing steeple jacks for marijuana usage.  In essence, if the company does not ensure safe working practices by their employees, they cannot buy liability insurance. In litigious America, Acme is not moving forward without insurance.  One claim and they will lose their company. 

A key problem with drug testing (and very possibly with the drug) is that marijuana has a long residual marker.  Depending upon the level of usage, someone may fail a drug test weeks or months after they last used the drug. 

So steeple jack Bob, in Castle Rock, may be getting real relief from the high stress of building bridges with a soothing brownie every evening and find himself out of a job with the next random drug test.  This conundrum is not going to disappear.  It may be legal to use marijuana.  It is also legal (and in many cases mandatory) for employers to fire all employees who test positive for doing so.

Summary

In one small cartoon, S. Harris captured the methodology so many of us follow in modern America.  If something is complicated or painful, let’s not address it right now.  We have most of the answers or at least some of answers.  We have a lot of skill and daring.  We can handle anything that comes along.  The law of limited resources is way over rated.  The government will bail us out.  Let’s get moving.  We don’t need a stinking plan! 

This line of thinking created a lot of profits for my consulting business when my clients realized it doesn’t work.        

“Then a miracle occurs.”  Whether or not you believe in a personal God you have to admit that we have not seen a lot of concrete evidence that miracles are occurring for any of these challenges.

Author’s note:  This article is a departure from the typical “foibles of life” rants that I post each week.  We are approaching the Medicare enrollment season, and I am frequently asked about the differences between Traditional Medicare with a supplement and Medicare Advantage coverage. So this is a serious article that attempts to contrast these two alternatives and highlight the historical factors that created two very different products.  Most of you will not be interested in Medicare alternatives and may want to pass on this week’s post.  A number of you, however, may find the information helpful as you review your Medicare options for 2024.      

A few months ago a friend of mine asked me a question about Medicare.  He was retired and his previous employer switched all of the retirees to a Medicare Advantage program for their health insurance benefits.  He asked, “What in the world is Medicare Advantage and is it my only Medicare option?”

Medicare Advantage is an interesting challenge.  

A little background about Medicare can help us understand how we moved to the current environment of Traditional Medicare and Medicare Advantage.  

The Evolution of Medicare

Medicare is not very simple.  The primary reason for the complexity is that it is such an incredibly expensive undertaking by the Federal Government.  Next to Social Security, it is the largest expenditure in the federal budget.  How expensive?  In total, the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) spent $1.48 trillion in fiscal 2023 for Medicare and Medicaid benefits.  Total tax revenues for the Federal Government for fiscal 2023 were $4.5 trillion.  So 33% of the tax dollars went to government sponsored healthcare programs.  That leaves 67% for all of the other products and services the Federal Government supplies.  Things like Social Security and national defense.  Even senate bean soup. Our elected officials cannot simply wave a magic wand and pay for Medicare.  It is too big, even for them.  So many of the strange provisions of Medicare are directed to keeping costs in line with what the Federal Government can afford.    

Over the years, the US Government has tried to accommodate the ever rising cost of healthcare by tweaking Traditional Medicare.  First they increased premiums. Costs kept rising. So they limited benefits and sheared off optional coverage for Medicare recipients.  They established a series of Medicare Supplement coverages that could be purchased from independent insurance companies, passing, perhaps, 20% of Medicare costs back to the recipients.

Today, Traditional Medicare is a standard policy for the entire country. It is totally controlled by one entity, the granddaddy of all insurance companies, the Federal Government.  It provides access to nearly every healthcare provider in the country and there is no arguing or debating over the benefits that will be paid.  Every healthcare entity must accept the compensation documented in the CMS rating schedule. The optional Supplemental coverages are totally regulated by CMS.  If a claim is accepted by Medicare as the primary insurer, it has to be accepted by the Medical Supplement insurer as the secondary insurer.  The required coverages for all of the Supplemental Plans are the same.  Aetna’s Supplement G will not have benefits that differ from Blue Cross Supplement G.

Traditional Medicare is comprehensive and easier to administer because there is one set of rules controlled by CMS.  However, it is not inexpensive and healthcare costs continued their steep rise.

So the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services, the health insurance industry and the healthcare industry searched for a new program to control Medicare Costs. The result was Medicare Advantage which is also referred to as MedAdvantage or Medicare Part C.   

Whereas most of the risk for Traditional Medicare is assumed by the Federal Government, nearly all of the risk for Medicare Advantage is assumed by private insurance companies.  The US Government pays the private insurers a premium of, approximately, $1,100 a month for each Medicare Advantage enrollee.  The private insurance companies are on the hook from there.  If it is a bad year for medical claims, the insurance companies lose not the Federal Government. On a personal level, you can appreciate the huge cost of Medicare.  The Federal Government is actually paying a $2,200 per month premium for a two person household.  If they did not, how would you like to factor this expenditure into your monthly budget?   The insurance company is the primary insurer and the private insurance companies provide all of the Medicare Part A benefits (hospitals), Medicare Part B benefits (physicians) and all of the Medicare Part D (prescription drug benefits). 

How can private insurers provide coverage at less cost than CMS? 

First, they establish networks of health care providers and negotiate lower benefit payments with hospitals and doctors in the networks.  For example, The Acme Insurance Company will go to Megopolis Health Systems and negotiate a much lower rate for services than the standard Medicare rate.  Why would Megopolis agree?  Acme may have a substantial number of Medicare Advantage policyholders in the geography covered by Megopolis.  If Megopolis cannot agree on an appropriate rate and become a member of the Acme network, they will not have these policy holders as patients.  Acme will continue to negotiate unique rate structures for as many providers as possible in the same region.  Ultimately, Acme wants to create a network of substantially all doctors and health care facilities in a region who will be paid discounted fees for the services they provide. 

Second, the private insurers do not have to offer all of the benefits that Traditional Medicare offers.  The benefits are robust and the plans must be approved by CMS.  Covered medical benefits may be very similar but not identical.  It is a safe bet that any differences will result in fewer benefits in the Medicare Advantage plans. 

Third, Medicare Advantage plans offered by independent insurers require pre approval for healthcare services much more often than Traditional Medicare.  In theory, the insurance companies are ensuring that the services appropriately qualify for coverage.  In reality, the prequalification may significantly delay services and, often, the insurance companies inappropriately declined services that should have been approved.  For example, in 2021, there were 35 million requests for pre-approval by Medicare Advantage policy holders.  2 million were denied.  11% of the 2 million appealed the denial and 82% of the appeals were won by the policyholders.

Fourth, Medicare Advantage policies have a very wide range of options for deductibles, co-insurance and maximum out of pocket limits for approved claims.  Often, they achieve zero premium coverages by bumping up the amounts policyholders must absorb when they submit claims.   

Fifth, the Medicare Advantage offer includes a Medicare prescription drug benefit.  The formulary is reviewed and approved by CMS.  However, it is the result of the best negotiation the private insurer can strike with pharmacies and drug companies.  With Traditional Medicare, the policyholders can choose from any of the Medicare D policies that are offered in their region.  Typically there are twenty to thirty options and some are much more favorable to some insureds than others.  For example, I had a prescription change in 2024.  I have Traditional Medicare.  My current drug plan indicated that my out of pocket costs for 2024, with the new drug, would be more than $59,000.  I chose a different plan with a different formulary and my total out of pocket cost is less than $3,500.  If I was enrolled in Medicare Advantage, I could not make that change.     

Medicare Advantage did a great job of achieving cheap.  By driving down benefit costs, private insurers can offer a number of additional benefits to their policyholders.  Frequently, they tacked on wellness programs, vison coverage, hearing coverage and dental coverage to the medical benefits required for all plans by CMS.  Often the private insurers would establish very favorable rates with the health care providers to the extent that no premium was required from the Medicare recipients.

Medicare Advantage products may be sold to individuals or to large employers for their entire group of retirees.  

What keeps private insurance companies from raking in extraordinary profits with their Medicare Advantage products?  Two significant factors.  First the Federal Government, through CMS, pays the lion’s share of the premiums.  CMS understands Medicare better than anyone and they are very careful to ensure that the premiums they pay private insurers are not egregious.  More importantly, private insurance is a highly competitive capitalistic enterprise.  There are dozens of Medicare Advantage plans offered by many different companies.  If one insurance company gets strong handed with the rates they offer to their Healthcare Provider base, another company will negotiate a better deal with those providers.

A final complicating factor with Medicare Advantage is that you may not be able to switch from Medicare Advantage to Traditional Medicare if you have significant health issues.  The Federal Government stood on the soap box with the Affordable Care Act and preached that pre-existing conditions should all be eliminated from every health insurance plan.  Traditional Medicare has one.  If you do not sign up for a Medical Supplement when you first enroll in Medicare, you may be required to pass a health care review before being allowed to enroll in the future. So, signing up for the cheap Medicare Advantage product when you are completely healthy and switching to Traditional Medicare when you develop a particularly dangerous form of cancer may not be possible.      

The Dilemma

For many years, the primary emphasis for modifications to Medicare has been directed to controlling costs.  There has not been a lot of change that impacts the usefulness of Medicare to the millions of Americans enrolled in the program.  Because of the variability of Medicare Advantage, evaluating whether to enroll in Traditional Medicare or Medicare Advantage is difficult.  No matter which direction you go, you gain something and lose something.  Finally, the factors impacting the decision are definitely not the same for everyone.

If you are totally healthy and do not plan on having any major healthcare issues until a few days before you die, Medicare Advantage is for you.  If you are planning on developing a dread disease that only a few doctors at the Mayo Clinic and Johns Hopkins can treat, Traditional Medicare is for you.  The obvious problem is that we cannot know the answer to either of these health situations before we enroll in a Medicare Plan.  So the dilemma is “do I go with cheap because I’m healthy or do I go with the more expensive plan because I have the most options if something bad happens?” 

The friend who asked me the question about Medicare Advantage is retired from a very large company in Southeastern Michigan.  The Preferred Provider network offered by the private insurer includes all of the major healthcare providers in the region, including the “gold standard” University of Michigan system.  This may work very well as long as he lives in Ann Arbor.  Many of the company’s retirees have moved.  The benefit does not look so good for some of those participants.  The Medicare Advantage networks in Jacksonville Florida, Minneapolis Minnesota and Phoenix Arizona are not as appealing because the Mayo clinic does not accept Medicare Advantage patients. However, the Mayo does accept Traditional Medicare.  A few who have moved to Whidbey Island Washington may have very poor choices in a network that is primarily focused on Southeastern Michigan. In essence, the usability of a regional PPO network may be better suited to a group that all live in the same region.

Drugs can be a huge expense.  Do I want to be limited to the single drug plan of my Medicare Advantage carrier or should I enroll in a Traditional plan that will allow me to change Medicare D plans based on changes in my prescriptions?  In my case, enrolling in a Traditional plan dropped my drug charges $55,500 a year.  For me, a Traditional Policy was far less expensive than a Medicare Advantage policy.

Summary

So my friend has this choice. 

He can stay with the Medicare Advantage plan offered by his employer.  He will have Silver Sneakers wellness, a vision policy, a hearing policy and dental coverage.  There is no premium required to participate.  In fact, whether or not coverage is provided by his employer, there are a number of Medicare Advantage plans that have little or no premiums.  Currently, he and his spouse are in good health and all of their doctors are in the PPO associated with the plan.  He will have to accommodate the cumbersome pre authorization process for many healthcare procedures.  He may not be as pleased with the network options if he moves from Southeastern Michigan.  He will have to use whatever drug coverage is offered by the Medicare Advantage insurer.  He will have to pay a combined premium for him and his spouse of $350 per month for the required Medicare Part B.

My friend can drop the employer coverage and sign up for a Traditional Plan with Supplement G.  A health review may be required.  If the two pass the review, total premiums for him and his spouse will be approximately $750 per month (including the $350 Medicare Part B premium).  So the premium differential for two people is $400 per month.  With this plan, he can become a patient of any health care provider in the country and have 30 different options for drug coverage.  This is the best possible hedge against a catastrophic health event in the future.

In spite of what the marketing people may say, Traditional Medicare is an apple and Medicare Advantage is an orange.  Far and away, most of the effort directed to improving the products has been to address the challenge of continually rising healthcare costs.  For you, MedAdvantage may or may not be less expensive.  It is very challenging to accurately make that determination.  However, a lot is riding on this decision.  We all need to know what the real impact is for us before we make it.

My wife and I relocated our family from Ann Arbor Michigan to Jacksonville Florida in 1974.  At that time, the population of Jacksonville was 350,000.  We asked the Jacksonville Chamber of Commerce for information about the city.  They summarized the ethnicity of the city as follows: “3% of the population are of Asian descent.  15% are from Europe.  All the rest are Southerners.”

I took a position as Controller of an insurance company and quickly found that at least 80% of my coworkers were from the South.  I had a language problem.  I neither spoke nor understood Southern.  All of my associates were very patient and helpful.  They welcomed our family with open arms and taught me how to understand and eventually, speak the language fluently.

Let’s start simply with the most common Southern expression.  Y’All.  First, this is a one syllable word.  It is definitely not pronounced “You All”.  It is not “Ya All”.  It is a homonym of Yawl and it rhymes with Call.  One syllable.  Most southern accents may drag out the alllll part a little but it is still one syllable.  Contrary to popular belief, it is always plural.  If you ask one person if they are going to the ball game this afternoon and you say “Y’All going to the game?”  They will think you are from Hoboken New Jersey.  Some have inferred that “Y’All” is singular and that the plural is “All Y’All”.   That is incorrect.  Beauregard’s History of Southern Expression clearly notes that “Y’All” is plural. “All Y’All is creeping into the Southern language.  Occasionally, a citizen from Valdosta will use “All Y’All” to refer to a very large group or “whole passel” of people.

Albany Georgia is pronounced differently than Albany New York.  The Georgia city is “all benn’ nee” with the accent on the second syllable.  Other cities in Georgia include Houston, which is pronounced “house ton” not “hue ston”.  Berlin Georgia, in Southern, is “burr’ lin” with the accent on the first syllable as opposed “burr lin’ the capital of Germany. Vienna Georgia is “vie enna”, with a long I, not “vee enna”, with a long E.      

Jacksonville natives do not greet you by saying hi or hello.  They say “Hey”.  “Hey Sue!  Are you having a good day?”  If Sue indicates that she is not feeling well.  The southerner will reply “I’m sorry you’re feeling puny.”  In Michigan you’re sick. In Jacksonville you’re puny.  If you are puny and have a headache, you might want to take a Goody’s Powder.                 

The really spectacular element of the Southern language are the expressions.  I had the great fortune to work with a person from LA.  To Southerners, LA is not a city in California.  When you say LA in Jacksonville, you are referring to Lower Alabama.  In fact, this person was from Dothan.  Jim had the best expressions and the best speaking style in the world.  Here are some examples.

We sat through a vendor presentation on accounting systems and I asked Jim what he thought.  Jim was very skeptical that the system could do everything the representative claimed. “I think he’s peeing on our shoes and telling us it’s raining.”  In addition, he did not think the presenter was overly bright.  Jim added “That boy reminds me of Paul Revere.  Light in the belfry.”  If Jim was buried in work he was “Busier than a one legged man in an ass kickin contest”.   Can you get this job done today, Jim?  “It’s no hill for a stepper. I might could have it by three.”  What do you think of that barbecue Jim?  “It went down better than a chubby kid on a teeter totter.”   Hey Jim.  You doing all right?  “I’m great! Never had more nor wanted less.” Jim never did anything on the weekend he would do it on “Saturday or Sunday, one”.  

Jim had a dog.  A Blue Tick hound.  His name was Rolex.  I said what a great name for a dog.  How did you come up with that?  Jim said he’s a watch dog.

Jim spoke with a big booming voice.  If you closed your eyes you thought you were listening to Foghorn Leghorn.  Hopefully, Y’All remember the big chicken on Looney Tunes who was constantly pursued by Henrietta the Hen and the little Chicken Hawk.  Foghorn was always talking very loudly saying things like “If that kid… I say… If that kid don’t quit talkin, he’ll get his tongue sunburned.”  No doubt the genius Mel Blanc spent some time in Dothan Alabama because everyone there sounds like Foghorn Leghorn.

In a few months at the insurance company I was taught to “Mash on the light” if the room was dark and to “Let the Big Dog Eat” if I had to accelerate to pass another car.  “It’s coming up a cloud” if the afternoon thunder storm was forming and “It’s a frog strangler” when the down pour started.  I learned that “The big raccoon walks at midnight” if you were behind early in a poker game and “It’s hard to come back if you’ve never been there.”    

Great expressions.  Great humor.  Great people.  Great values.  We have enjoyed Jacksonville so much that we have stayed here for almost 47 years.

The metropolitan area has grown a little from 350,000 citizens to 1,350,000. There are large pockets where the Southern influence has completely disappeared.  Of course, this is happening everywhere in the United States.  Regionalism and colloquialisms are on the wane.  We all are starting to sound like TV commentators. 

I would love nothing better than to have a long slow supper at Jim’s house.  He could regale Sue and me with all of the interesting things that have happened to him in the last 30 years.  After a couple gallons of syrupy sweet tea and a few beers we would wrap up around midnight.  Jim would say he hadn’t had this much fun since “Granny’s goat roping” and he would invite us back with “Y’All come back! Heah?” 

Life would be great.  “If I was any better I would be twins.”  Damn.  I need to find a place to go and speak more Southern.  I may book a leisurely visit to Dothan. I could go on ‘Saturday or Sunday, one”.             

I was reminiscing the other day about the great Flip Wilson.  In the sixties and seventies he hosted a classic variety show on network TV.  As I remembered, he was the absolute master of the “shaggy dog” story.  Long involved stories that would run for many minutes and culminate in a real groaner punch line.  This was perfect humor for me. 

I had not actually viewed one of Flip’s performances in more than forty years so I thought my memories may be aggrandized and inaccurate.

Through the wonders of modern home entertainment, I did a search for Flip Wilson and found that an obscure “oldies” streaming service carried the original Flip Wilson show.  I dialed in the first episode. As it turns out my recollections underestimated the length and depth of Flip’s story telling.  He opened his first show with two hilarious Flip Wilson Stories.  One even included Geraldine.  They ran on forever.  It took more than fourteen minutes to tell two jokes.  The stories were hilarious and they ended with the worst pun like punch lines.  This was even better than I had remembered.

So I thought I would share a few Flip Wilson Stories with you.  These are not jokes actually told by the great comedian.  Relaying the two jokes he told in Season One, Episode One would require a hundred page post.  These are jokes that I have always categorized as Flip Wilson Stories.  If told properly, the people hearing the jokes may believe that they are actually real events until you pop them with the punchline.

Story One.

Rene Descartes spent many years developing his philosophies in Vienna.  He spent hours in the coffee houses extrapolating complex theories with a number of other great thinkers in the city. 

Overtime, he and Wolfgang Schmidt became great friends.  Wolfgang’s day job was training the, world renown, Lippizan Stallions.

One day, Wolfgang was running a horse through his paces when Rene burst into the stables.  Rene said, “Wolfgang! I haven’t slept in three days!  I believe that I have developed a proof for an amazing theory about humanity.  I believe I have all of the elements in place to prove that we can validate our existence simply because of our cognitive capabilities.  I call it ‘I think, therefore I am’.  You need to run through the proof with me.  It’s revolutionary!”  

“Wow!  That’s terrific Rene.  I really should put more time in with this stallion before tonight’s performance.  However, I don’t want you to lose these valuable thoughts.  Let’s get some coffee and chocolate and run through the entire theory.”  

“Thank you Wolfgang.  I really appreciate it.”  Little did Wolfgang know that he was already part of a significant human event. 

This was the first recorded incident of a man putting Descartes before the horse.

Story Two.

A man owned a dog that was overly protective.  The dog was congenial with his family, the clan, but was constantly nipping at anyone who visited his home.  He tried all of the classic techniques to stop the animal from biting but had no success.  Finally, he retained a dog whisperer. 

The trainer said that one simple change would break the biting habit.  The owner needed to give his pet piano lessons.  If given instructions on how to play classical music the dog would stop chewing on his guests.  The trainer said, “I know this sounds ridiculous but, in my opinion, it is probably the only cure for the problem and it has been successful with other clients.”

So the owner googled “Animal piano teachers specializing in canines and classical music.”  There were eighteen within five miles of his house.  He sent an email to the first instructor on the list and made an appointment for the following Monday.  After an hour lesson the instructor said that Fido was off to a great start.  If the owner wanted to continue the lessons, give him another call.

The owner returned home and tested Fido.  He put the dog on the front porch.  The mailman came by and the dog didn’t budge.  Amazon dropped off three big boxes, Fido never got off the welcome mat. He ordered a pizza from dominos and DoorDash from the Chop House.  The dog could care less.

The owner was overjoyed and extended the lessons, indefinitely.  Every Monday at 3:00 PM he spent an hour cleaning up his emails while his dog continued the classical music lessons.  Fido never nipped at anyone starting with the first lesson. 

Finally, after eleven months, the owner decided that, with all of these lessons, he should ask his friends over to listen to Fido play the classics.  He rented a concert size Steinway piano.  He retained the Ritz Carleton to cater the event and he invited twelve close friends over for the performance.

As it turns out, Fido was a terrible pianist.  Friends started to leave after a few minutes.  The longest one stayed for eleven minutes.  Nine months of continuous lessons and the music was unbearable. The next day the owner called the piano instructor and cancelled the lessons. 

It was very clear that Fido’s Bach was worse than his bite.   

Story Three (perhaps the world’s shortest Flip Wilson Story)

I just read an interesting story about David Copperfield.

Early in his career he used a lot of white rats in his tricks.  He bought some from a pharmaceutical company and found them to be very agitated and skittish.  It turns out that the critters had been used in heroin addiction experiments.  David was very sensitive to the welfare of the animals he used in his show, so he very patiently withdrew all of the rodents from their addictions.

As it turns out, he was the first magician, ever, to pull a habit out of a rat.

So Flip was the greatest.  I encourage you to dial in his old shows.  His verbal and physical comedy is incredible.  He will start on a Flip Wilson Story.  As the plot unfolds, he will bring in Reverend Leroy from the Church of What’s Happening Now or Geraldine or somebody else.  There will be five to ten great belly laughs before he gets to the pathetic punchline.  You will wonder why you paid close attention for so long to hear the pitiful ending. 

Then you will sit on the edge of your chair and hope for another one.  

The NCAA has announced a change to the status of bowl games for post season play in 2024.  The designation of a “Game” implies a competition where each team marshals their best effort and skill to win a contest.  In post season 2023, there were 41 contests that used to be called Bowl Games.  Only three of those could be considered games.  All three of those were arranged to determine the National Championship.  The remaining 38 Bowls, at best, must be called “Exhibitions”. 

Let’s look at 2023 “Exhibitions”.  Starting at the top, the number 5 ranked Florida State Team, undefeated in the regular season, has at least eleven starters sit out the contest with Georgia and loses a squeaker 63 to 3.  This was nothing like a game.  FSU finishes one position out of the playoffs and the best effort they have for the “Exhibition” is one of the most lopsided losses in bowl history. 

This event is closely followed by the Ohio State versus Missouri “Exhibition”.  In the last regular season game, OSU has the ball in Michigan territory with less than a minute left in the game.  If they connect with the best receiver in the country (Harrison) on their last play of the game, they are number one in the country and locked in to the first seed in the National Championship playoff.  A Michigan interception with 35 seconds left stops the drive.  Ohio drops out of the top four and loses several key players.  Their starting quarterback and Harrison among them.  The odds makers immediately make them underdogs to the 2 loss Missouri team.  Never underestimate the skill of odds makers.  In the “Exhibition” Ohio never advanced the ball to the red zone once in the entire game.  The powerful buckeyes posted a whopping 3 points.  Not a “Game” and never intended to be a “Game”.           

How about attendance at the “Exhibitions”?  The Duke Mayo Bowl drew 42,925.  The Military Bowl attracted 35,849.  The historic Holiday Bowl had 35,317.  The Pop Tarts Bowl, in the attractive Orlando location, sold 31,111 tickets.  Finally, the Wasabi Bowl in venerable Fenway Park drew 16,238 fans.  There isn’t a high school team in Texas that doesn’t draw more fans for every home game than these “Exhibition” Bowls.  Fans don’t come because these are not games.  They are “Try Outs”.  Most of the Players who had sufficient skill to jump through the portals to a Sacred 20 team did so after the regular season.  Players who were not able to jump through the portals after the regular season are trying to show their stuff in hopes of making it to the top 20 or a low round NFL draft pick.    

According to the NCAA, the economics of college football are best served by promoting no more than 20 major football programs.  They are the ones with real money.  The remaining colleges are considered farm teams and the nature of post season play needs to be changed to support the goals of the Sacred 20.

In an effort to reduce the possibility of injuries associated with the “Try Outs”, there will be a number of rule changes for 2024.  First, all the exhibitions, other than the Championship Playoffs will be played with flag football rules.  Second there will be a skills competition.  The NCAA gurus favor a punt, pass and kick competition.  PP&K has been held by the NFL for 6 to 15 year olds for more than 50 years.  The event has been totally injury free.  The likelihood of any college prospects getting hurt is near zero.  Importantly, all 200 players on each team will be timed in the forty yard dash.  This riveting event, alone, will provide several hours of entertainment for the Bowl “Exhibition” fans.

They are also trying to weave in a pre or post Bowl “Exhibition” event called “Show me the Money”.  It will be in a game show format where fans can watch actual negotiations between players and player representatives.  They anticipate hilarious scenes where 315 pound defensive linemen attempt to intimidate 145 pound lawyers.

Never let it be said that the NCAA does not provide a great product for college football fans.  Of course, with the robust agenda of Bowl “Exhibitions”, the price of tickets will be going up.  It will set you back at least $350 to watch the 2024 season Wasabi “Exhibition” in Fenway.  The increased pricing should really boost attendance.  They may not eclipse the 16,238 mark set in 2023 but they will probably break 10,000.

For as long as I can remember, I have been a fan of cool stuff.  I’m not referring to popular status symbols.  I am talking about cool stuff.  When I find something cool, I buy it and I keep it forever.  It does not matter that no one else thinks that the stuff is cool.  If I do, I buy it and hold on to it eternally.

Perusing my massive storage unit, I have noted that a lot of my cool stuff was actually given to me when I was a child.  I think my appreciation for valuing cool things is genetic.  My parents were extremely skilled at identifying cool.  They gave a lot of cool to their four children and I kept all of mine. 

For example, in 1951 my parents gave me a Lionel train set for Christmas.  Very cool.  Seventy three years later, I still set up the Sante Fe engine and freight cars around my Christmas tree.  Every Christmas and birthday the cool collection of cool train stuff expanded.  By 1960, I had acquired hundreds of Lionel components.  Engines, train sets, fully operating logging stations, cattle unloading corrals, missile launching cars, railroad flagmen, etc.  I still have all of them.  At least all of them that survived the reckless behavior of ten year olds playing war games with model trains.  

Expanding on the toys and games category, I have three large boxes of metal trucks from the early fifties.  Fire Trucks, Graders, Steam Shovels, Dump Trucks, even a Coca Cola Delivery Truck. 

I have three complete Erector Sets.  What’s an Erector Set?  From 1913 to 1963 a fine company, AC Gilbert, made metal construction sets for kids.  They had tons of metal framing and electric engines. They came with instructions to create elevators, cars, trucks, trains, amusement park rides.  Anything you could think of.  In addition you could build your own designs.  These were kind of a crude forerunner to Lego sets.  Last Christmas, I encouraged my grandsons to get out the instruction booklet and build an elevator.  Somehow it was not as appealing as the most recent Grand Theft Auto release but they humored me and whipped up a fully functioning elevator that transported my small metal cars several stories into an imaginary garage.  How cool is that? 

How do you get three Erector Sets?  My parents, both having the cool gene, found two of them in the 70’s at garage sales.  Hard to believe but some people did not recognize the Gilbert products as cool and were actually emptying things out of their basements.  So now they are in my permanent collection of cool stuff.                

I have some great games, including the first five Jeopardy games ever sold and a nearly complete collection of Trivial Pursuit.    

I think old clocks are cool.  I’m talking about mechanical devices at least 100 years old.  When we lived in a big house, I had thirty of them banging away all around the place.  You had to love an 1860 Seth Thomas calendar clock that tracked the time, month, day, and date.  It knows which months have 30 days and which months have 31.  It knows that February has 28 days and every four years, it knows that February has 29 days.  The designers gave up at this point.  The mechanics did not account for the fact that leap year is eliminated at the turn of the century for four straight centuries and added back for the centuries divisible by five.  For example 1900 was not a leap year but 2000 was.  My British Tall Case clock, aka Grandfather, was hand crafted by Jonathan Handley in the 1830’s and is still accurate to less than a minute a week.  Tell me that old clocks are not cool.

Why is keeping cool stuff a problem?  High maintenance and low utility.  For example, a few years ago, I spent an entire day just organizing the erector sets.  I have had these beauties for forty years and the only time we have ever used them was to build the elevator last December.  We tried to play the 1960’s Jeopardy games.  For some reason none of us remembered that Sweden won the Gold in the 3×5 kilometer cross country skiing event at the 1960 Squaw Valley Olympics.  My 23 year old grandson rarely asks to play with the toy trucks anymore. 

When I hire McKinsey to review the efficiency of my life, I am not going to get high ratings for keeping and organizing all the cool stuff.  Basically, weeks of maintenance for a few hours of use. 

So I should empty the 5,000 square foot warehouse that stores seven full sets of Christmas decorations (including 20 strings of Noma bubble lights), every set of golf clubs I have owned since 1963, 45 clocks, eight boxes of Lionel trains, and two red rider BB guns (one with a compass in the stock), and the complete set of my mother’s copper bottom Revere Ware made in Rome New York in the 1950’s (including two double boilers and an egg poaching pan).   

No way!  You never know when friends and relatives will come to spend a few days with you. They may have, in tow, a four year old and a six year old.  Very likely, the classic 1970 Fisher Price pull toys and the big metal trucks will provide hours of entertainment to the small fry. 

Strangely, the original owner may spend as much time with this stuff as the four year olds.