Managing Your Education

Many people make seemingly small decisions early in life that have a profound effect on the rest of their lives.  In fifth or sixth grade we are all seeking to establish our identities.  Our daughter fell in love with grade school dramatics.  The passion continued through high school and through a theater degree at Northwestern.  She loves acting and she is very good at it.  It all started in fifth grade.  In sixth grade our son signed up for Space Camp and it lit a fire for pursuing science that culminated in a PhD in Archeology.  He is now a professor at the University of Central Florida, teaching his favorite subject.   

I too had a seminal experience in sixth grade.  I rearranged my school schedule to maximize my exposure to the wisdom of Soupy Sales. 

Southeastern Michigan was blessed with daily performances of Soupy.  He started as a host of a lunch time cartoon show for kids.  He was so popular and versatile that he simultaneously hosted an evening program, Soups On, to compete with the 11 PM News.  The night time program featured great Jazz and adult oriented Soupy Sales humor.  Eventually, the Lunch with Soupy program migrated to Breakfast with Soupy.   

I quickly became a full member of Soupy’s exclusive “Bird Bath Club”.  All participants were known as “Bird Baths”.  Eventually, the number of cartoons diminished and were replaced by great personalities that would have a positive impact on children.  Willie the worm, “the sickest worm in all of Detroit”, would announce birthdays for fellow “Bird Baths” between sneeze attacks.  Pookie the lion would come to the window and sing Little Richard’s “Tutti Fruitti” or Oscar Brown, Jr.’s “But I Was Cool”.   Soupy had two dogs, White Fang and Black Tooth.  They spoke dog to Soupy and he would translate their communication for the “Bird Baths”.  It seemed like every two minutes someone would hit Soupy in the face with a cream pie.  The pie shots always sounded like ricocheting bullets.   

Soupy was a font of valuable information.  He would dial in the radio searching for a weather report.  The announcer said, “Oh, Oh! We’re in for a bad spell of weather.  W-e-t-h-o-r”.  Soupy was a dance instructor.  He taught us all to do the Soupy Shuffle. He gave health advice “Be true to your teeth and they won’t be false to you” or “Don’t scratch those chicken pocks or you will grow up looking like a golf ball”.  He was an investment advisor.  He pointed out that he once bought 7 Up when it was six.  Every day he had a chalk board with today’s Words of Wisdom.  “George Washington may be the father of our country but Faygo is the pop”.  “Show me an explosion in French bakery and I’ll show you a Napoleon blown apart”.

It was certainly clear to me that Soupy Sales was a very important educational resource.  Unfortunately, when I entered six grade, Breakfast with Soupy ended at 8:30 and classes started at St. Thomas at 8:30.  I only lived a mile from school but I could not possibly watch the half hour television program and get to school on time.

As I sat in my first period math class, I noticed that a couple of students arrived a half to three quarters hours late every day.  Sister Lucentia never reacted and never reported them as LATE.  I asked one of the late arrivers why they were never on time and why they did not get suspended.  They indicated that they were on the late bus.  It seems that one bus had such a long route each day that it could not possibly arrive on time.  If you rode the late bus you were never considered TARDY.  It also occurred to me that, if I stayed at home and had breakfast with Soupy, I would get to school about the same time as the late bus.  Perhaps Sister would assume that I also arrived on the late bus. I would miss three quarters of my math class but I would get all of the valuable lessons Soupy offered.  

This certainly seemed worth a shot.  The next day, I poured a bowl of cornflakes at 8:00, watched Soupy and rode my bike to school.  I wandered in to math ten minutes before it ended.  Turned in my homework and picked up this evenings assignment.  Not a peep from Sister Lucentia.  If she had asked why I was late, I would have replied that I had no excuse.  But she did not ask.  On the other end, my mother never asked when I was supposed to start school. A perfect situation.  I was prepared to ride this horse as long as he could trot.      

As it turns out, that horse galloped from September 8, 1958 to June 10, 1959.  That’s right.  I never got nailed.  In my 76 years on the planet that was the longest run of anti institutional behavior that I ever achieved. No discussions with my parents.  No discussions with the nuns.  Olly Olly all Home Free!  

As with my children, the whole experience made a big impact on my life.  I muddled through math but I also enjoyed episode after episode of the wisdom on Soupy Sales.  I can handle the quantitative stuff.  I have been a CPA and a systems design specialist.  However, my first reaction to most things in life has always been comedic. 

As Controller of a public company, I found that one of our subsidiaries was in dire straits.  I analyzed the problem and set up an emergency meeting with the CFO and President. The President noted that the sub was losing $10,000 a day.  He asked if there was anything positive about this situation.  My immediate reaction and response to him was “Well, it isn’t leap year.”  Fortunately, the President must have also been a “Bird Bath” when he was young.  He laughed heartily and didn’t fire me.