Month: October 2024

The highlight of my preteen summer vacations was a trip to Indianapolis to visit with the Donnelly family.  My uncle Bill, Aunt Florence and cousin Dave were larger than life people.  Flossie was empathetic and kind.  She believed that my parents needed a break from Mikey, Lucretia and Mad Madam Mim (my sisters, Barb and Jo).  She would drive from Indianapolis to Ann Arbor Michigan to pick us up and take us back to Indiana. We played penny ante poker, went to the stock car races, county fairs and toured the Indianapolis racing facility.  My cousin Dave would pile us in his 1940 Ford for a tour of the local Drive Ins, bowling, or even a fishing trip.  After a week or so of fun and frolic, my Aunt would load us back into her Ford Fairlane and drive us back to Michigan.  The trip was about 280 miles, on two lane roads, through midwest farming communities. 

Usually, I could snag a window view in the back seat.  Flossie would dial in a great rock and roll station and we would listen to Chuck Barry, The Coasters, The Platters, Johnny Mathis, The Everly Brothers and many other pop artists of the fifties all the way home.       

A fascinating side light to the trip were Burma Shave signs.  Burma Shave was a brushless shaving cream that came in a tube.  Their ingenious marketing campaign was to post simple jingles on a series of four or five signs.  They spaced out the signs along farm fields so that you could read them in sequence as you drove past.  They had hundreds of humorous statements posted all over the midwest.   The signs were simply narrow red rectangles with white writing and the last sign always said Burma Shave.  I loved them.  Here is an example:

Said farmer Brown      who’s bald on top      I wish I could       rotate the crop     

Burma Shave

The signs were spaced far apart so you could typically only read one at a time.  We would easily pass twenty or thirty postings between Indy and Ann Arbor.  Only a few repeats.  I’m sure a set of five signs cost Burma Shave less than a hundred bucks.  I don’t know how much they paid the farmers but suffice to say this was very reasonable advertising.  As you cruised the two lane highways, you were always looking for the next set of Burma Shave signs.     

A few years ago, knowing my affection for Burma Shave sayings, a great friend of mine gave me a set of five that she found in an antiques store.   At this time, we lived in the country, on a small two lane highway.  Our property sported a white horse fence, 1/3 of a mile in length, along the road.  I thought it would be spectacular to set up the signs and every few weeks, change the poems.  In fact, I thought I would post an original Burma Shave jingle for those traveling East and, on the back of the signs, a modern rhyme for people travelling West.  An aggressive undertaking but well worth the effort.

The real Burma Shave poems I selected were as follows.  To get the original effect, pause for a moment after reading each sign.  That’s how it worked when you passed them on the highway.  You could only read one at a time and it really heightened your anticipation.  

He lit a match          to check his tank         now they call him         skinless frank

Don’t try passing        on a slope                    unless you have           a periscope

A guy who drives        his car wide open        is not thinkin’             he’s just hopin”

Her chariot             raced 80 per             they hauled away        what had Ben Hur

Altho insured    remember kiddo     they don’t pay you    they pay the widow

My modern sayings included:

4 bucks a gallon       makes me cry        I wish I could       sprout wings and fly

It’s okay                      to text and drive          unless you want          to stay alive

Siri said                       turn right now             I did and nearly           hit a cow

Cannabis         is a legal drug          but smoke and drive         you’re in the jug

My EV Truck              can really fly               but only for                 three hours a try

The GPS         says fastest course      I just was passed       by a guy on a horse

I know, it’s hard to believe that someone would consider a running Burma Shave exhibit.  Before long, they could be committing to a weekly humor post. 

For the new sayings, I thought about naming the final signs after my consulting firm.  Instead of Burma Shave, the last sign would say:  Sinelli and Associates, Inc.   If the test market in Keystone Heights Florida was successful, I could take the marketing campaign back to the midwest farm country.  It worked for Burma Shave for nearly forty years.  They sold a lot of shaving cream. Some little guy could drive past with his Mom and say “Hey look at that.”  If she was CEO of a major insurance company and had trouble with her IT systems, she might give me a call.          

Alas, we sold the ranch before I was able to implement the Burma Shave exhibit.  I still have the signs, however.  They are squirreled away somewhere in my 5,000 square foot storage unit.  So the possibility of displaying authentic Burma Shave ditties and new rhymes is not dead.  Don’t be surprised if you are driving through rural Indiana and see:

On curves ahead    remember Sonny     that rabbits foot     didn’t save the bunny  

Burma Shave   

We have been making sausage for personal consumption for more than thirty years.  Breakfast sausage, Italian sausage, Bratwurst, and Kielbasa.  It is a carryover from my competitive barbecue days.  Sausage is one of the five major categories in a barbecue competition.  After experimenting with different commercial products, most barbecuists believe they can create something better.  Over time we tweaked the spice recipes to develop the perfect flavors for us.

We did improve our Sausage scores in the barbecue contests.  More importantly, we made the terrific sausage that we love to eat.

Why is our sausage better?  We grind a great cut of pork for the base.  All of our sausage is made from quality ground pork shoulder. No scraps or spare parts.  No additives or preservatives.  When you order pulled pork, you are feasting on smoked pork shoulder.  All we add are spices.

Following a key barbecuing philosophy (never accomplish with mere words something that can be achieved equally well with a flame thrower),  I purchased a small commercial meat grinder capable of grinding 600 pounds of pork in an hour.

So for many years, every two months or so, I would grind up some pork shoulders, make a variety of sausages, vacuum seal them and put them in the freezer.  Friends would join us for a spaghetti dinner with a fine Italian sausage sauce or we might serve smoked kielbasa and bratwurst as an appetizer for a barbecuing feast.     

Over time, I would get requests for sausage from my friends.  “The next time you fire up the behemoth grinder, could you make a couple extra pounds of breakfast sausage for me?”  “Absolutely” I would respond. 

After a half year I was getting requests from more friends and the demands were less polite.  “Hey! I need six pounds of Italian in three pound lots and six pounds of breakfast in ¾ pound lots.  Can you get them to me by Saturday?  I’m having a brunch for twenty friends.”  Now my response was “Bad news!  I’m not making sausage for anyone anymore.  We are going to make sausage.  If you want any, be at my house at 7:00 PM next Thursday and we will make all the sausage you care to eat.  If you can’t be there, you don’t get any sausage.”        

Surprisingly, three friends showed up on Thursday for the first sausage production session.  We ground, seasoned and vacuum sealed forty five pounds of sausage.  Everyone helped with all aspects of the process, including cleaning and sanitizing all of the equipment and pressure washing the kitchen.  It was a great social gathering and we were all rewarded with a cooler full of made to order sausage.  Start to finish it was less than a three hour effort. We rekindled a couple hundred thousand years of hunter-gathering instincts and it felt great. We planned to hold another session when the larder dwindled in six to eight weeks.

About five weeks later, as supplies ran low, everyone was ready for another production run.  The team found that it really was not difficult to make sausage.  It’s always fun to get together with your buds.  But the real bottom line was we all enjoyed eating really great stuff. 

After a few months, we were getting a little blowback from health conscious spouses.  “Sausage is one of the worst forms of protein you can consume!  You are killing yourselves with all of this fat laden, ground pork!” 

We mounted a defense that would make the National Institute of Health proud.  One of the team members is a cardiologist, another is a world class tax attorney who has argued 100 million dollar cases in the highest courts.  We noted that this was not ordinary, commercial sausage.  We were not grinding up leftovers from slaughtered pigs.  There were no udders, snouts, or pork bellies in our sausage.  It was all pure pork shoulder.  Pork shoulders have a fat content of 25% which is far less than the average 35% of commercial sausage.  Because we had perfected the quick freezing process, we were able to ensure a very fresh product without any preservatives.  Absolutely no additives.  The cardiologist said that moderate consumption of this form of protein was actually helpful to all of our muscle masses, including the heart.  The third team member was an ex-navy fighter pilot and a 747 jockey.  He pointed out that his blood tests had improved significantly after he replaced his frequent consumption of commercial Polish sausage with the fine cuisine we were creating.  Finally, I pointed out that, after years of consuming all of the home made sausage I desired, my total cholesterol level, with no medication, was 131. Of course, the talented lawyer baked all of this information into a brief that would have stunned F Lee Bailey.    

Needless to say, the spouses were non plussed.  “The sausages are going to kill you all.” 

The four of us averaged more than forty five years of marriage.  We know what hills we should die on.  This one was worth the fight. 

So we have continued to make sausage every six or eight weeks.  The group has expanded to seven or eight master chefs.  It is not uncommon to produce 60 or 90 pounds of output in a single session.  All of our friends and family, including most of the health conscious spouses, enjoy eating the sausage in spaghetti sauces, pasta Faggioli, greens and beans, and a spectrum of smoked barbecue formats.  Breakfast sausage is a staple.

Early on, I warned the team that this was not an activity that should be performed in a white dinner jacket.  “Wear a shirt that you may have to toss after each session.”  After some thought, I provided Tee Shirts that captured the spirit of our endeavor.  We all have black shirts that say “Death Bomb Sausage Company” on the front and “Eat what you want.  Die happy.” On the back.

So thirty years after we decided that we could make better sausage than we could buy in the meat market, the Death Bomb Sausage Company is alive and well.  So are all of the brave team members who grind them out every six weeks.        

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Initial Public Offering

Based on the popularity of the Death Bomb Sausages, I am researching the possibility of taking the company public.  I see the entire production team becoming equal owners after the IPO.  Although it has been a while, I have some experience with the public offering process.  I led the effort for three or four clients during my CPA days with Coopers and Lybrand and I reviewed potential acquisitions for Fiserv.

So I know that the venture capitalists will want detailed financial information that clearly shows a robust profit potential for the enterprise.  The first part of the effort is identifying the cost of producing a high quality product.  Based on the cost, we will establish a price that will generate an attractive return for the company.  The resulting corporate profits will then increase the share value, ultimately, rewarding all of the stockholders.  I’d like to think that Death Bomb is on the same path of the original McDonalds.  The book keeper who accepted stock in lieu of $2,000 of back pay is now a multi billionaire.

What does it cost to produce a pound of world class sausage?

We have fixed costs related to the plant and equipment we need to make sausage.  Equipment includes the world class sausage grinder, vacuum sealing machine, scales, cutting boards, knives, and stainless steel pans for different processing stations.  To date we have made more than 1,000 pounds of sausage with little “wear and tear” on the equipment.  I will, conservatively, assume that we will need to replace our equipment after making every 5,000 pounds of sausage.  With these assumptions, what is the real fixed equipment cost needed to prepare a pound of sausage?

Equipment Cost:

            Sausage Grinder                     $ 450

            Vacuum Sealer                          150

            Scales                                         100

            Cutting Boards                              75

            Stainless Steel Pans               150

            Miscellaneous                               50

            Total Fixed Asset Cost        $ 875

If the total outlay for Fixed Assets to produce 5.000 pounds of sausage is $875, the cost per pound is $.18. 

Okay, we nailed that.  What are the variable costs?  Variable cost includes the cost of pork, the cost of spices and the cost of packaging for the final product.  They are variable because we don’t incur any of these expenses until we actually produce some sausage and they are directly related to each pound we produce.

Variable Cost Per Pound of Sausage:

            Pork Shoulders                                    $  2.50

            Spices                                                         .12

            Packaging for the Final Product        .05

            Total Variable Cost                           $  2.67

We have Fixed Cost per pound of $.18 and Variable Cost per pound of $2.67.  Other than labor, the total cost for Death Bomb to produce a pound of the best sausage in the world is $2.85.

What are the labor costs?  Actually, Larry Durbin has provided most of the insights regarding labor costs.  He noted that John Ball, Steve Nauman, Larry Durbin and Mike Sinelli required three hours of effort to produce 33 pounds of sausage at the last production session. They are all accustomed to a significant level of compensation.  We have an expert tax attorney, a heavily experienced 747 airline pilot, a cardiologist, and a CPA/Systems Engineer.  Without disclosing individual compensation structures, at the time of their respective retirements, the average hourly compensation for this group was $268.15 per hour.  So at the last session we required 12 man hours to produce 33 pounds of sausage.  Total labor cost was $3,217.80 (12 x $268.15).  Cost per pound is $97.51 ($3,217.80 divided by 33). 

Our aggregate cost of making one pound of sausage is as follows.

            Fixed Cost                   $     .18

            Variable Cost                  2.67

            Labor Cost                    97.51

            Total Cost per Pound  $100.36

If it costs a little more than $100 to make a pound of sausage, what should our selling price be?  The VC (impressive, insider designation for Venture Capitalists) would like to see 20% margins.  I believe that a 25% markup would be more appropriate.  Shortly after the public offering, I think we will need a corporate jet and our quarterly board meetings should all be in Paris.  25% will do a better job of covering the additional overhead.  So our selling price will be $125.

I like the concept.  Death Bomb sells 10 million pounds of sausage, every quarter, at $125 per pound.  We all earn $270 per hour when we decide to make sausage.  All of the initial shareholders earn at least $100 million profit on their initial shares.      

I’ll be back in touch when I have completed the business plan and had preliminary discussions with the money guys.  

Michael Jay Sinelli, EHQ

Exalted Hind Quarter

Update Number One

I knew if I circulated the preliminary business strategy to all of the Death Bomb Company participants that we would receive great suggestions and insights.

I would like to share the feedback I received from John Ball, Dennis Gray and Tom Blond, Predictably, their vision is in line with their previous occupations.  As a world class tax attorney, John has a legal and regulatory bend.  Dennis is focused on the engineering and production side.  Tom is pure sales.  He aims to maximize our payback in the shortest possible time frame.  His strategy is absolutely brilliant.

John Ball. 

With a keen eye on the numbers, John noticed that our selling price of $125 a pound is slightly higher than Jimmy Dean’s price of $6 per pound.  I replied that we were within $120 and that should not be a real problem.  John responded.

“Agree. And, they probably use underage, illegal, migrants in their processing plants. How else could they sell their product so cheap? Should we report them to the FDA and INS?”

Dennis Gray.

Hey Mike,

I loved the analysis.  I can now see why you went into accounting.  And all this time I thought it was because you liked the calculator to attach to your belt.

Upon review of your analysis, I wanted to point out that your garage refrigerator isn’t large enough to hold 10 million pounds of pork butt, or finished sausage, or combination thereof.  I tried converting pounds to kilos and got the same result.  Upon second review, I see that 10 million pounds is a quarterly number and realized that even Costco cannot supply that many pork butts all at once each quarter.

Based on Costco’s limitations, I worked this quarterly number down to a weekly basis (ya know 10,000,000 divided by 91 day (days in a quarter)  times 7 days (days in a week)).  This resulted in 769,231 pounds per week.  A much more duable number but one that is still too high for one refrigerator.

If we were to add two refrigerators to your garage, do you think Susan would mind leaving her car out every night?

Tom Blond.

“Sounds reasonable to me. Our first customers need to be Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg with the pitch that they, singlehandedly, can solve world hunger. One sale and we shut it down and fly off to Paris.”

It is easy to see why Tom was one of the most successful software sales professionals in the country.  Cut the chat.  Straight to the end game.  A clear simple strategy that achieves every objective.  The first workday of 2025 Tom and I will be setting up meetings with Jeff, Elon, and Mark.

I’d like to thank everyone for their incredible feedback.  More updates to follow.

Michael Jay Sinelli, EHQ

Exalted Hind Quarter

Update Number Two

Good news! Preliminary feedback from the Venture Capitalists is very positive. 

Everyone I talked with is well aware of the Death Bomb Brand and they are well aware of the exclusive nature of our products.  A common theme was “We have heard a lot about your sausages but we haven’t been able to wrap our mouths around anything.”  Apparently, the tee shirts have greatly enhanced visibility. The investment pros all tried to hit us up for a few pounds of Breakfast, Italian and Kielbasa.  I told them that this will be arranged after we ink a deal.          

The VC’s were very impressed with Tom Blond’s marketing strategy.  Appealing to Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg to ameliorate world hunger with Death Bomb sausages is brilliant. They anticipate at least two of the three billionaires will buy in to the “stop world hunger” slant.  

In addition, they offered a second marketing suggestion.  The investors recommend that we pursue a private deal with the US military.  Evidently, Secretary of Defense, Austin is anxious to try the Brats and the Italian.  The VC point out that the $125 per pound price is nothing for the armed forces.  These guys are accustomed to paying $5,000 for a toilet seat.  In fact, the money people said we should shoot for at least $140 per pound if we sell to the army.  If we grease the skids with 50 pounds of the next production cycle for the Secretary, he may jump at a multi year deal for all 650,000 troops under his command.   I have our accountant, Bryce Watermouse, crunching the numbers but the military deal could be twice as big as the 40 million pounds per year world hunger agreement.

Two simple sales could ring up more than $15 billion in annual revenue.

Meanwhile, Larry Durbin is in the process of looking for a well maintained Boeing 747.  In his opinion it is the best aircraft ever constructed and it should fit the needs of the sausage team very nicely.

More to follow.        

Michael Jay Sinelli, EHQ 

Exalted Hind Quarter

Long ago I saw a great cartoon by S. Harris.  Two scientists are reviewing a mathematical equation on a chalk board.  One says to the other “I think you should be more explicit here in step two”.  The entire equation appears to be complex math but step two simply says “Then a miracle occurs.”  

This spectacular cartoon really struck a chord with me.  I owned a small consulting firm and our primary business was implementing General Ledger Software for large insurance companies.  Very often, we were trying to save projects that were in a lot of trouble.  These were not three day, get off the plane with a briefcase, and say something smart engagements.  They were big, twenty man year, efforts under great duress for timing and success.  Frequently, we got the call because the implementation team was in distress and we had a track record for making these systems work.  

Very often, the project was floundering because no one could figure out how to design and implement a critical system component.  Instead of solving the problem and creating a comprehensive design that would work from beginning to end, the project team simply bypassed the issue.  They inserted a  “Then a miracle occurs” step and moved ahead to other aspects of the implementation.  Down the road, the implementation team realized that there may not be a solution to the “miracle” step or there may not be a solution that will work with everything else they had designed.         

Our consulting methodology was simple.  If we could not design a solution that addressed every aspect of the desired functionality, we could not move forward.  If we can’t design it, we can’t build it.  Building takes a lot of time, effort, and money.  We aren’t incurring any building costs without a rock solid design. 

Miracles are truly acts of a Supreme Being and we never saw very many of them in our business.  We had to know that we could make the software solve the client’s problem, with no Divine Intervention, or we did not get past “step two.”  I bought tee shirts with Mr. Harris’s cartoon for my consulting team.

Unfortunately, the “Then a miracle occurs” methodology for problem solving has become very popular and very common for Americans.  Here are a few examples.

“Then a miracle occurs” with my student loan.  

Like it or not, student loans have major financial impact on many Americans.  Many students do not treat them with the respect they deserve, however.  I have a friend who borrowed $80,000 to attend college.  He was able to avoid working while in school and even had sufficient cash to buy a fine guitar and surf board.  He was adamant that college days were not all about studies.  He needed to expand his social horizons as well.  Eventually, he stepped out into the working world with a BS in Psychology, a 2.6 GPA, fond memories, and $80,000 of debt.  Each year in school I would ask if he thought his higher education was going to provide sufficient income to pay back the loans and support his Bohemian lifestyle.  His response, “No problem.  I’m going to make a lot of money.”  “Then a miracle occurs!!” 

Now that he is five years past graduation and working as a Barista (truly a great and enjoyable job for him), he complains bitterly about the inherent inequity of student loans.  He should not be required to shoulder the odious burden of this kind of debt, especially at his income level.  All student loans should be forgiven.  Why, even bankruptcy may not resolve his student loan debt!  How unfair! 

Unfortunately, barring a direct act from the Almighty, there is no easy solution to my friend’s problem. There is absolutely nothing wrong with working at a job you really enjoy for lower wages.  However, when you’re designing your life, you better not ring up $80,000 in student loans if you are not planning on sufficient income to repay them.        

I have another acquaintance who is solving the student loan challenge very creatively.  Her job and lifestyle have made it impossible to repay her student loans.  She is 70 years old and has been a full time student for more than 50 years.  Obviously, she loves school and can attend evening classes.  Because she has always been more than a “half time student” as defined by the Federal Government, she has not triggered the requirement to begin repaying her loans.  With compound interest, the loan balances must be staggering.  I asked if she will ever start making loan payments.  She said, “I intend to die as a full time student.  I never plan on making a single payment.”  50 years as a full time student is a little extreme but it does solve the loan dilemma and is not “Then a miracle occurs.”  It is a planned solution that works for her. Ultimately, the loan burden will pass to someone else in the form of higher interest rates to cover defaults.

On a macro basis, student loans are a massive problem.  According to the Federal Reserve, total student loan debt on March 31, 2023 was $1.77 trillion second only to mortgage debt.  So if somebody short of God Almighty bails out the students, it would probably have to be the United States Government.  Not a lot of people with pockets that deep.  If congress decides tomorrow to pay off all the student loans, they have to come up with 40% of all the 2023 tax revenues for this single expenditure.         

“Then a miracle occurs” with my retirement account.

Far and away, the best example of “Then a miracle occurs” methodology in our country is retirement planning. 

In November 2023, Forbes determined that the average retirement savings for Americans aged 50 – 59 is $175,400.  This will generate a monthly retirement income of $878.  Let’s say that these Americans made enough to maximize social security contributions for most of their working lives.  That may add another $2,500 per month to the pot.  Retirees in this group may have to live on less than $40,536 of income per year.  If they maximized social security contributions they have been accustomed to six digit income for a long time.  Clearly, their standard of living is going to take a giant step backward.  

Many of my friends are in this boat.  What is amazing is that it has always been very easy to determine how much funding is required for a comfortable retirement. For example, if a 23 year old contributes $5,500 a year into her or his IRA and earns a 6% overall return, they will have $1 million in the account at age 65.  Using the 6% assumption, this would generate $5,000 per month without ever taking out any of the principle.  A much better income number than the current average of $878 per month.  Add in the $2,500 per month Social Security Benefit and annual retirement income is $90,000.

Okay, your saying “How can a 23 year old put $5,500 into a 401K?”   Easily.  At 23, I am going to find a job that pays at least $50,000 per year.  With a few months training I could learn to drive a truck and make $60,000 to $80,000.  That $5,500 contribution is going to get a lot smaller.  First, I am absolutely, going to find an employer that matches my IRA contribution.  Now I only have to put in $2,750 a year.  Second, my IRA contribution is tax deductible.  At a 20% tax rate, Uncle Sam is going to pay another $550 of the annual amount by lowering my taxable income.  For a mere $2,200 a year I have the retirement challenge covered.  That’s less than the cost of my annual pilgrimage to Las Vegas. 

Anyone can get this financial information from the internet with less than an hour of effort.  Why have so few Americans done this?  Why have so few people engineered their way into a situation that will help them cover their retirement needs?  For many years I have talked with friends who say “I know I should start funding my retirement account but I really don’t have the money right now.  The Beemer lease payment is putting the squeeze on me.  I’ll double up next year.  I can work this out.”  “Then a miracle occurs.”  Retirement funding, with small, reasonable contributions, only works if you start when you are young, contribute every year, and let compound interest build your nest egg. 

The tax laws regarding retirement funding are the best benefit that the government has ever offered to US citizens.  You make a deposit in an investment account and actually get a tax deduction for simply saving your own money.  Earnings on the principle are not taxable until you withdraw the money after retiring.  Tax wise, it does not get any better than this!!  

Nothing is easier to compute, easier to plan for, and easier to fund.  Yet, the average retirement savings for men and women aged 50 – 59 is $175,400.  Again, we need real intervention from a Supreme Being to help these folks retire comfortably.                           

“Then a miracle occurs” with legalized marijuana.

Legalizing marijuana has become a very popular social issue.  Most Americans favor legalizing the drug for both medical and recreational purposes.  Competent adults should be able to use cannabis, without criminal repercussions, just as competent adults use alcohol.  “I live in Colorado.  Marijuana is legal.  I can enjoy the drug with no consequences!”  “Then a miracle occurs.”

Although marijuana use is legal in Colorado and other states, so is drug testing by employers.  In fact, for many occupations, drug testing is required by law.  DOT says that you cannot drive a truck, bus, train, ferry, or plane if you can’t pass a drug test.  You can’t be a mechanic for public transportation equipment, you can’t be an air traffic controller.  You can’t build roads. These rules apply to government employees and any contractors who perform similar tasks.  56% of companies in the United States have drug testing programs to ensure that their employees are fully functioning when they are on the job.  Supposedly, the biggest log jam with improving Florida’s highway infrastructure, is finding construction workers who can pass the mandatory drug tests.  Legalized marijuana in Florida is not likely to make the pool of prospective workers any larger.

In the private sector, testing programs are not, simply, altruistic initiatives by responsible employers.  Most of the time they are requirements that the companies cannot avoid.  They are required by the insurance companies that underwrite liability insurance for these employers.  Amalgamated Property and Casualty is not going to sell a policy to Acme Bridge Construction, Inc. in Denver if they discontinue testing steeple jacks for marijuana usage.  In essence, if the company does not ensure safe working practices by their employees, they cannot buy liability insurance. In litigious America, Acme is not moving forward without insurance.  One claim and they will lose their company. 

A key problem with drug testing (and very possibly with the drug) is that marijuana has a long residual marker.  Depending upon the level of usage, someone may fail a drug test weeks or months after they last used the drug. 

So steeple jack Bob, in Castle Rock, may be getting real relief from the high stress of building bridges with a soothing brownie every evening and find himself out of a job with the next random drug test.  This conundrum is not going to disappear.  It may be legal to use marijuana.  It is also legal (and in many cases mandatory) for employers to fire all employees who test positive for doing so.

Summary

In one small cartoon, S. Harris captured the methodology so many of us follow in modern America.  If something is complicated or painful, let’s not address it right now.  We have most of the answers or at least some of answers.  We have a lot of skill and daring.  We can handle anything that comes along.  The law of limited resources is way over rated.  The government will bail us out.  Let’s get moving.  We don’t need a stinking plan! 

This line of thinking created a lot of profits for my consulting business when my clients realized it doesn’t work.        

“Then a miracle occurs.”  Whether or not you believe in a personal God you have to admit that we have not seen a lot of concrete evidence that miracles are occurring for any of these challenges.